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Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Munchies 2010 Photodump
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tony Hawk Ride 1 Year Later
On a slightly related note, Gamestop quietly ushered me out saying "no pictures" after i took this. I hate Gamestop
-Pudge
Friday, December 24, 2010
Laziness personified
Christmas Eve shopping is fun
Thursday, November 18, 2010
An Orgy Porgy in the Twittersphere
Hey,
I spent most of yesterday writing a paper I'm pretty proud of. It's about the future and Brave New World, my new favorite book till I read another one. Sadly, I'm going to have to murder it to make it work as the paper I was supposed to write for my Brit Lit class, so I figured I'd throw it up on the blog in it's best form before I start BSing the changes. Enjoy, and don't blame me about any bad feelings you get. I was pretty depressed after writing it too.
Not a day goes by on the twenty four-seven cable news cycle without someone comparing a small loss of privacy to Nineteen Eighty Four. Orwellian is almost as common a word on the more sensationalist shows as Nazi or Elitist. The culture we live in today still has a deep fear for the totalitarian future proposed by Orwell, a world where the government controls and censors everything the common man touches. This fear, like many culturally popular movements, is misguided. The government, especially in a world where this fear is widespread and strong, would never use such an obvious tactic to control us. They would instead, and many would consider are, control the populous by subduing them and distracting them. They also have plenty of help from the technological revolution that sees every teen carrying around at least two gateways into the infinite time sink known as the internet. No, the future we have to fear is the future we are currently experiencing, the future accurately predicted by a less well known book, Brave New World.
In the book, author Aldous Huxley imagines a world where people are conditioned from birth to live lives of simple pleasure, with no burdens. Conditioned to escape reality whenever it becomes to frightening or painful. Conditioned to always seek out the new, and disregard the old in all things. They hear small catchy phrases thousands of times, until they come to know them as common sense sayings. They combine words to make them sounds more complicated. They shorten words to make them more cutesy. They worship no god, instead resorting to worship of a titan of industry. Worst of all, they are all trained from birth to be prejudicial against those people different then themselves and their peers. All these things are blown out of proportion for satiric effect, but I would argue that they are all present in some form of modern society, and only stand to get worse.
The novel starts out with an introduction to this strange society brought upon by the world controller. He leads a group of Alpha children, the highest caste in their system, through the place where humans are made. One of the rooms they visit during this sequence is the hypnopaedia chamber, where children are fed a repeating stream of rhymes as they sleep. This is how the society conditions their youth into staying in line with what the society requires of them. They are brainwashed into rejecting those of a lower rank then them in society, into never becoming jealous of those above them, and into thinking about the collective over the individual at all times.
“Save you 15% or more on car insurance” “S O G Double O D Good” “Now that's Progressive” These are just a few of the current phrases today's society is conditioned too. Not having the luxury of our developing minds as we sleep, advertisers today have to make do with the commercial time they are given on national TV, broadcast and internet radio, billboards, and of course internet advertisements adorning every website in existence. If you have enough money in America, you can pay to teach the American people any slogan you choose, and ninety five percent of the population will have that slogan subconsciously memorized in a week.
With this information in mind, take a look at those slogans again, and think of the ones you know as well. They're pretty positive, which only makes sense. What effect must that have on your judgment when you do go out to eat, or to buy your car insurance? Do you remember what Consumer Reports has said about which is the best deal? Or do you remember which advertising campaign was the best? Even if you have bad experiences with the company, you subconsciously remember the laughs a good ad campaign can bring you, and you forgive them, all in a split second. It must have been the clerks fault.
Of course, some advertisers do get to speak to our youth. Who among us doesn't remember that “Knowing is half the battle?” Or that Transformers are “More then meets the eye?” The 80s was the heyday of cartoons that functioned as nothing but advertisements for action figures. Many people have very fond memories of these cartoons, calling them classics of their day, even though the quality of the cartoons was barely passable and nowadays would be hard to watch. Many even cite the death of Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, as a seminal growing up point in their childhoods. 20 years later, these people in their 30s with kids of their own went with their families to see the big screen revivals of both Transformers and GI Joe. These films were ravaged by film critics, but financially they were all blockbusters, mainly due to the good feelings that years of Saturday mornings had brought countless movie goers.
Another thing to take into account is that both GI Joe and Transformers had already been on the big screen in the 80s. Why didn't movie studios just re-release the old films, perhaps for an anniversary? Because, much like the Alphas and Gammas of Brave New World, we live in a society that rejects the old and cherishes the new. Movies are a wonderful example of this phenomenon. A vast majority of the output by movie studios of the last decade or show has been remakes or reboots of older properties, in order to make them “speak to modern audiences”. One of the biggest upcoming movies this holiday season is Tron: Legacy, a reboot of a twenty year old film. Rumors fly around about Hollywood producing new sequels to Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones, and Star Wars every year. Even dramatic masterpieces like Wall Street are being redone for the sake of the new over the old. Perhaps the most damning news of all in this trend is that Warner Brothers is looking to do a shot for shot remake of the Wizard of Oz, a film that even the most jaded person could tell you is a timeless classic.
Then again, why not make all these new versions of old films? Without new versions we would not be able to marvel at them with the new gadgets and technologies we have today. When we get to the theater, we pay five extra dollars for a pair of plastic 3-D glasses allowing us to marvel at the 5 minutes of screen time devoted to throwing things at the screen in order to make that new tech worthwhile. When we leave the theater, they helpfully put a bin out for you to recycle the glasses, because after all, recycling is good for society, you wont mind paying five more dollars next time. Then, six months later you might want to watch that movie again in 3-D. You look at your brand new HDTV and say to yourself, even though you just bought the thing, you'll have to replace it with one that supports 3-D. Of course, when you get to the store to purchase the Blu-Ray and 3-D TV, you also have to spend twenty five dollars on a special pair of glasses that wont work in the theater, but work well at home. Maybe you should pick up a couple of pairs for the kids as well.
Huxley saw this day of new gadgets and technology coming in an age where the television had barely begun broadcasting and the most complicated gizmo in a person's house might have been a radio or an icebox. In the second chapter of the book, he writes, “Imagine the folly of allowing people to play elaborate games which do nothing whatever to increase consumption. It's madness. Nowadays the Controllers won't approve of any new game unless it can be shown that it requires at least as much apparatus as the most complicated of existing games.” If you think about it, there are many examples of this in modern society. Movies, in a world of digital downloads and two dollar DVDs, are surviving on gimmick add ons like IMAX and 3D, which are creepily similar to the feelies of Huxley's novel. A video game console is released to market, and a year later they release upgraded controllers and smaller initiations of the same console. Some games even require you buy huge bundle packs in order to receive the giant plastic guitars, skateboards, turntables, or guns required to play them. Cell phone manufacturers release slightly updated models of their products at least every two months, insuring that even the top of the line model is heavily outdated by the time your contract is ready to be renewed. Perhaps the worse case is the popular iPod. Apple releases slightly updated models every year, and when a new iPod product line is released, like the iPhone or iPad, they purposely leave out features such as forward facing cameras or wireless support. Of course, after a year or so of begging, Apple happily updates the device with these features, and makes sure that there will be something to update next year as well.
Why would anyone voluntarily buy these products year after year when they know the products are crippled technology? Why is Apple a beloved company despite these malicious deeds? I would argue that it is because of Apple's founder Steve Jobs. Jobs rarely makes public appearances, except when he announces a new press conference. These events have become seminal dates in the tech world, with Jobs always announcing his next magical device. People who live and breathe Apple products are jokingly called the Cult of Mac, and the worship at the giant glass temples known as Apple Stores, confessing the sins of how the broke their iPods at the genius bar. In fact, I would go far enough to say that if Huxley were to write his novel today, Jobs would take the place of Henry Ford as the great forefather of the society.
The Cult of Mac probably wouldn't be the only model that Huxley could go by were he to write the novel today. It seems like every TV show, movie, and video game franchise has a group of almost religious fans hanging on the every word of a producer or game designer. It's become common place to set up new franchises with a vast mythology to surround your concept, in order to get the more nerdy among us excited. Where only a few decades ago, a boat getting marooned on an island was enough set up for a successful TV show, now you either have to hook in with an existing storyline, or create a dense fiction just to tell the stories you want to tell. You then have to ask your fans to take time out of their days to not only watch your TV show, but read the tie-in book, watch the webisodes, participate in the viral marketing, follow your favorite characters on Twitter, all just to understand the story that is being told. That's a lot of hours devoted solely to entertainment, which is what breeds such religious fandom, which is exactly what they want.
While their main goal is only to eventually sell you shirts and DVDs, and to get you to keep watching the program, the real danger is another facet of Huxley's nightmare scenario. The Alphas and Betas of the novel always have a way to escape reality, called soma, an alcoholic beverage stripped of any risk of health defects or hangover. Of course, we have alcohol still in our time, but the more relevant metaphor to all this is that these countless universes set up by media companies serve as an infinite escape and an infinite distraction for those seeking life outside of the tedium of reality. There are encyclopedias of knowledge online about planets and species that do not exist, and every day several novels worth of fan fiction is published digitally based on the works of others. Even reality shows demand hours of your attention in order to gain escape. All of this time and effort is put into works that in all likelihood will not benefit anyone but the creators of these franchises. At least it's a distraction.
What if you're not one for the mythology of the next Star Wars, you of course still have distractions to devour your time. Most of these distractions are brought on by the technological marvel of our time, the World Wide Web. More effective at entertainment then anything Huxley could possibly dream of, the Internet is full of amazing ways to waste your time. Why should you go to bed at a decent hour when you can watch your favorite TV shows on Hulu? Why read a book when you can get the gist of it on Sparknotes and Wikipedia? Why go out with your friends when you can both can stay at home, IM each other, comment on the pictures of yourself you took in your bathroom on Facebook, and then tell random strangers about it on Twitter? Why go out to shop when there is an endless supply of options and sellers online willing to ship things right to your door? Why be humble when you can egotistically post where you are, what you're eating, what musician your listening to, for the whole world to see? The internet is the soma of our time, sucking us into hours and hours of amusement that distracts us from the challenges and even some of the enjoyment of our lives.
At this point in many essays, you might expect a solution to the grand problem laid out above. Alas, I have racked my brain, and know of no easy answers. Like the Alphas and Gammas in the novel, I too am stuck with the conditioning in my head. I have a Twitter account I update every day, my smartphone buzzes every twenty minutes to let me know of new advertisements in my email inbox. I know more about Halo and Xbox then any man has the right to know, I've seen the original Star Wars trilogy at least 15 times. Yet, I'm jobless, and when I think about what I really want to accomplish in life, I think of the novel in my head waiting to be written, I wonder when I'm ever going to have time for it. So the next time you hear a talking head speak of Orwell or 1984, think instead of what Neil Postman wrote is his book Amusing Ourselves to Death about the two visions of the future.
In the book, author Aldous Huxley imagines a world where people are conditioned from birth to live lives of simple pleasure, with no burdens. Conditioned to escape reality whenever it becomes to frightening or painful. Conditioned to always seek out the new, and disregard the old in all things. They hear small catchy phrases thousands of times, until they come to know them as common sense sayings. They combine words to make them sounds more complicated. They shorten words to make them more cutesy. They worship no god, instead resorting to worship of a titan of industry. Worst of all, they are all trained from birth to be prejudicial against those people different then themselves and their peers. All these things are blown out of proportion for satiric effect, but I would argue that they are all present in some form of modern society, and only stand to get worse.
The novel starts out with an introduction to this strange society brought upon by the world controller. He leads a group of Alpha children, the highest caste in their system, through the place where humans are made. One of the rooms they visit during this sequence is the hypnopaedia chamber, where children are fed a repeating stream of rhymes as they sleep. This is how the society conditions their youth into staying in line with what the society requires of them. They are brainwashed into rejecting those of a lower rank then them in society, into never becoming jealous of those above them, and into thinking about the collective over the individual at all times.
“Save you 15% or more on car insurance” “S O G Double O D Good” “Now that's Progressive” These are just a few of the current phrases today's society is conditioned too. Not having the luxury of our developing minds as we sleep, advertisers today have to make do with the commercial time they are given on national TV, broadcast and internet radio, billboards, and of course internet advertisements adorning every website in existence. If you have enough money in America, you can pay to teach the American people any slogan you choose, and ninety five percent of the population will have that slogan subconsciously memorized in a week.
With this information in mind, take a look at those slogans again, and think of the ones you know as well. They're pretty positive, which only makes sense. What effect must that have on your judgment when you do go out to eat, or to buy your car insurance? Do you remember what Consumer Reports has said about which is the best deal? Or do you remember which advertising campaign was the best? Even if you have bad experiences with the company, you subconsciously remember the laughs a good ad campaign can bring you, and you forgive them, all in a split second. It must have been the clerks fault.
Of course, some advertisers do get to speak to our youth. Who among us doesn't remember that “Knowing is half the battle?” Or that Transformers are “More then meets the eye?” The 80s was the heyday of cartoons that functioned as nothing but advertisements for action figures. Many people have very fond memories of these cartoons, calling them classics of their day, even though the quality of the cartoons was barely passable and nowadays would be hard to watch. Many even cite the death of Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, as a seminal growing up point in their childhoods. 20 years later, these people in their 30s with kids of their own went with their families to see the big screen revivals of both Transformers and GI Joe. These films were ravaged by film critics, but financially they were all blockbusters, mainly due to the good feelings that years of Saturday mornings had brought countless movie goers.
Another thing to take into account is that both GI Joe and Transformers had already been on the big screen in the 80s. Why didn't movie studios just re-release the old films, perhaps for an anniversary? Because, much like the Alphas and Gammas of Brave New World, we live in a society that rejects the old and cherishes the new. Movies are a wonderful example of this phenomenon. A vast majority of the output by movie studios of the last decade or show has been remakes or reboots of older properties, in order to make them “speak to modern audiences”. One of the biggest upcoming movies this holiday season is Tron: Legacy, a reboot of a twenty year old film. Rumors fly around about Hollywood producing new sequels to Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones, and Star Wars every year. Even dramatic masterpieces like Wall Street are being redone for the sake of the new over the old. Perhaps the most damning news of all in this trend is that Warner Brothers is looking to do a shot for shot remake of the Wizard of Oz, a film that even the most jaded person could tell you is a timeless classic.
Then again, why not make all these new versions of old films? Without new versions we would not be able to marvel at them with the new gadgets and technologies we have today. When we get to the theater, we pay five extra dollars for a pair of plastic 3-D glasses allowing us to marvel at the 5 minutes of screen time devoted to throwing things at the screen in order to make that new tech worthwhile. When we leave the theater, they helpfully put a bin out for you to recycle the glasses, because after all, recycling is good for society, you wont mind paying five more dollars next time. Then, six months later you might want to watch that movie again in 3-D. You look at your brand new HDTV and say to yourself, even though you just bought the thing, you'll have to replace it with one that supports 3-D. Of course, when you get to the store to purchase the Blu-Ray and 3-D TV, you also have to spend twenty five dollars on a special pair of glasses that wont work in the theater, but work well at home. Maybe you should pick up a couple of pairs for the kids as well.
Huxley saw this day of new gadgets and technology coming in an age where the television had barely begun broadcasting and the most complicated gizmo in a person's house might have been a radio or an icebox. In the second chapter of the book, he writes, “Imagine the folly of allowing people to play elaborate games which do nothing whatever to increase consumption. It's madness. Nowadays the Controllers won't approve of any new game unless it can be shown that it requires at least as much apparatus as the most complicated of existing games.” If you think about it, there are many examples of this in modern society. Movies, in a world of digital downloads and two dollar DVDs, are surviving on gimmick add ons like IMAX and 3D, which are creepily similar to the feelies of Huxley's novel. A video game console is released to market, and a year later they release upgraded controllers and smaller initiations of the same console. Some games even require you buy huge bundle packs in order to receive the giant plastic guitars, skateboards, turntables, or guns required to play them. Cell phone manufacturers release slightly updated models of their products at least every two months, insuring that even the top of the line model is heavily outdated by the time your contract is ready to be renewed. Perhaps the worse case is the popular iPod. Apple releases slightly updated models every year, and when a new iPod product line is released, like the iPhone or iPad, they purposely leave out features such as forward facing cameras or wireless support. Of course, after a year or so of begging, Apple happily updates the device with these features, and makes sure that there will be something to update next year as well.
Why would anyone voluntarily buy these products year after year when they know the products are crippled technology? Why is Apple a beloved company despite these malicious deeds? I would argue that it is because of Apple's founder Steve Jobs. Jobs rarely makes public appearances, except when he announces a new press conference. These events have become seminal dates in the tech world, with Jobs always announcing his next magical device. People who live and breathe Apple products are jokingly called the Cult of Mac, and the worship at the giant glass temples known as Apple Stores, confessing the sins of how the broke their iPods at the genius bar. In fact, I would go far enough to say that if Huxley were to write his novel today, Jobs would take the place of Henry Ford as the great forefather of the society.
The Cult of Mac probably wouldn't be the only model that Huxley could go by were he to write the novel today. It seems like every TV show, movie, and video game franchise has a group of almost religious fans hanging on the every word of a producer or game designer. It's become common place to set up new franchises with a vast mythology to surround your concept, in order to get the more nerdy among us excited. Where only a few decades ago, a boat getting marooned on an island was enough set up for a successful TV show, now you either have to hook in with an existing storyline, or create a dense fiction just to tell the stories you want to tell. You then have to ask your fans to take time out of their days to not only watch your TV show, but read the tie-in book, watch the webisodes, participate in the viral marketing, follow your favorite characters on Twitter, all just to understand the story that is being told. That's a lot of hours devoted solely to entertainment, which is what breeds such religious fandom, which is exactly what they want.
While their main goal is only to eventually sell you shirts and DVDs, and to get you to keep watching the program, the real danger is another facet of Huxley's nightmare scenario. The Alphas and Betas of the novel always have a way to escape reality, called soma, an alcoholic beverage stripped of any risk of health defects or hangover. Of course, we have alcohol still in our time, but the more relevant metaphor to all this is that these countless universes set up by media companies serve as an infinite escape and an infinite distraction for those seeking life outside of the tedium of reality. There are encyclopedias of knowledge online about planets and species that do not exist, and every day several novels worth of fan fiction is published digitally based on the works of others. Even reality shows demand hours of your attention in order to gain escape. All of this time and effort is put into works that in all likelihood will not benefit anyone but the creators of these franchises. At least it's a distraction.
What if you're not one for the mythology of the next Star Wars, you of course still have distractions to devour your time. Most of these distractions are brought on by the technological marvel of our time, the World Wide Web. More effective at entertainment then anything Huxley could possibly dream of, the Internet is full of amazing ways to waste your time. Why should you go to bed at a decent hour when you can watch your favorite TV shows on Hulu? Why read a book when you can get the gist of it on Sparknotes and Wikipedia? Why go out with your friends when you can both can stay at home, IM each other, comment on the pictures of yourself you took in your bathroom on Facebook, and then tell random strangers about it on Twitter? Why go out to shop when there is an endless supply of options and sellers online willing to ship things right to your door? Why be humble when you can egotistically post where you are, what you're eating, what musician your listening to, for the whole world to see? The internet is the soma of our time, sucking us into hours and hours of amusement that distracts us from the challenges and even some of the enjoyment of our lives.
At this point in many essays, you might expect a solution to the grand problem laid out above. Alas, I have racked my brain, and know of no easy answers. Like the Alphas and Gammas in the novel, I too am stuck with the conditioning in my head. I have a Twitter account I update every day, my smartphone buzzes every twenty minutes to let me know of new advertisements in my email inbox. I know more about Halo and Xbox then any man has the right to know, I've seen the original Star Wars trilogy at least 15 times. Yet, I'm jobless, and when I think about what I really want to accomplish in life, I think of the novel in my head waiting to be written, I wonder when I'm ever going to have time for it. So the next time you hear a talking head speak of Orwell or 1984, think instead of what Neil Postman wrote is his book Amusing Ourselves to Death about the two visions of the future.
“What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy. As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited,the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny "failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions." In 1984, Orwell added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we fear will ruin us. Huxley feared that our desire will ruin us.”
Ford help us all.
-Pudge
Friday, October 29, 2010
My thoughts on WWE Universe mode in Smackdown vs Raw 2011
Hey,
Over on my other home on the internet, Examiner.com, I just recently posted an article about my recent gaming obsession. That being Smackdown vs RAW 2011 and the WWE Universe mode. It's a little filled with wrestling jargon, but if you're into that sort of thing, it's a good read.
-Pudge
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Twitter: The Hive of Knowledge our Forefathers Dreamed Of
Hey,
I'm currently sitting on my couch watching L&O reruns and contemplating why my nose is always plotting against me. For example, this time yesterday, my Droid buzzed me and the email causing that informed me that my classes the next day was cancelled. This made me assume that, since my cold seemed to be almost over, I would have a carefree day where my HW would be easily completed and I might watch some movies or play Reach, enjoy my good fortune to have a Tuesday off. Then I wake up this morning, and it seemed like one of my roommate's favorite rap artists had a tour date in my ear drum, and was distributing the phunk all over the place. Which is to say, I was in massive pain. One trip to the doctor-pharmacy combination and three things of medicine later, here I am, still in pain and full of Pizza Hut after my 5th consecutive sick day. I feel drugged, which is fine, I'm not a complainer, but it's annoying to say the least. Oh well.
On to the topic at hand, my aforementioned homework is preparing for a speech I have to perform tomorrow night for Public Speaking 101. I'm not one for public speaking (Now that I think about it, that was the first line of my first speech for the class) and so the only way I know to prepare for such an endeavor is to write it out beforehand. And why waste all that work when I can use it to update my blog. I was GOING to post the second part of my epic award-ready series Holy Shirt! today or sometime this week (sorry Colbert), but it's been put on hold until I am 100%. So this will have to do. It's a little basic, but it's aimed towards my college classmates, people who think Twitter is just "Today I ate tunafish!" and "I checked into the toilet trololol" With that context in mind, I hope you can enjoy my writing anyway, and I promise more insane idiocy soon.
I'm going to get the reactions right out of the way at the beginning. Today, I'm going to be talking about Twitter. Yes the service that, as far as you can gather, is for nothing but egomaniacs to pretend they have an audience who wants to know what they had for dinner. It's been around long enough that it seems everyone on the internet and every company is just jumping on the bandwagon without a lot of people actually getting what Twitter is. I remember two years ago when I first joined the service, I had the same reaction as many college students. As I grew to love the service, I noticed that when it came up in certain classes, not many of my fellow classmates found it useful at all. That is a shame, as I have come to believe it is the most important communication tool or our generation. It is slowly but surely changing the rulebook for countless companies and industries, and is the true literal definition of power to the people.
But before I get into that, I think I have to spend a minute telling you exactly what Twitter really does. Unlike Facebook and Myspace before it, Twitter is not really a self serving social network. You can comment all day and you wont get much value out of it if no one else interacts with you. The real value of Twitter is that it is a living stream of consciousness for the internet. At any given time you can jump into your Twitter stream and see what your followers think about what is happening in the world at that very moment. Log in on Sunday nights and you'll see a hundred different comments about the latest NFL ruling. Log in during prime time to see if the latest episode of the Office is good enough to catch up on. Log in Saturday morning to see which of the weekend's new releases at the local multiplex is getting the best reviews. Log in during a major event to get commentary from the audience and insight that even five years ago would have been impossible to receive. The best part is that most of these updates are written by people just like you, with no agenda, no ulterior motives, no reason to lie. You can see first hand the voice of the people.
The most recent example of Twitter's power is the recent fiasco regarding the popular clothing store, the Gap. When the Gap unleashed their new logo onto the internet and began the long process of re-branding, they were faced with an immediate and ugly backlash. Twitter was full of people mocking them for how ridiculous the new logo was. A few hours after it was revealed, there was even an entire twitter account pretending to be the new Gap logo and making fun of itself. A few days after that, The Gap saw the negative reaction and but the kibosh on the deal, reverting back to their previous branding. Even ten years ago, it would have taken a year for a company to make a decision, gauge public reaction, and then fix it if the idea was faulty. Think of the New Coke fiasco, which lost the Coke company both money and the hearts and minds of their custormers for months. Nowadays because of powerful tools like Twitter, this kind of change can happen overnight.
As you can see, once you can get past the strange reputation it has, Twitter is an amazing tool that is shaping the way the world works. More and more movies are moving to a Wednesday schedule and avoiding reviewers in order to minimize bad Twitter buzz. More companies are taking advantage of the intimate communication the service provides to give their customers better customer service then any automatic telephone can. Even celebrities and directors are discovering that producing content and then releasing it straight to their fans with instant feedback works as a great alternative to the traditional studio model. I can only imagine what the next ten years will bring as more and more of the world discover the power of real time internet and 140 character messaging.
More soon, sick now
-Pudge
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Driving School with Suspenders and Uncle BluJoe
Hey,
I have to watch a traffic school video because someone hit my car. It's too complicated to get into on the blog, but I decided to make it a more worthwhile endevor by writing up my thoughts as I'm watching, especially since the tests for these things are REDICULOUSLY easy. Trust me, I've done it before.
"We hope you enjoy the program" Not likely narrator guy...
GOOD GORDO. The guy on this video is wearing suspenders and looks like a sad excuse for a human being. I'm sad this isn't the video I got last time with Hulk Hogan and the Crash Test Dummies... Also, why the hell do they always get no-name stand up comedians to do these driving school videos? I'd rather be taught by Microsoft Sam. OK, the first part of this video, our suspenders wearing hero is doing driving standup. Time being WASTED. People in the audience are laughing, and there is a girl who bleats like a sheep. He's telling a story about his mom beating him and bragging about being in the south. Great! I still haven't learned anything. Except maybe that it's really easy to make up funny stories for a driving course. I could write this material and hire people to laugh at me too. Maybe I should make my own driving school video and get forty dollars per asshole driver.
The only way that they know your watching the video instead of just answering all the easy questions is that they sneak in validation questions. Like Suspenders will be talking and then quickly say a letter you have to right down. Or, worse off, they flash it on the screen while he's talking, forcing you to STOP paying attention to what he's saying and write it down. I'm sure that's good for retention.
O god. When he has to go into listing things on a PowerPoint, it starts playing some wonderful 80s elevator music. I wonder how old this thing is.
He just mentioned his southern childhood again... He says his uncle JimBob or something gave him Hot Wheels and then says REMEMBER THOSE like he was talking about pagers or Furbys. What did the late 80s not have Hot Wheels? This is the introduction to the traffic signs section. This leads me to my next media segment. With no forewarning or reason, right after mentioning traffic signs, we get this lovely clip.
It's like they just discovered New Orleans music while making this video, and HAD to find a place to put it in. Anyway, the rest of this section is nothing but describing street signs. What exactly does this have to do with safe driving? I know it's important for driving, but this is stuff BEFORE you get your licence. Everyone who's driving is REQUIRED to know this stuff. Useless. Now he's describing the FOOD and GAS signs that tell you where a McDonalds is off the highway. This video is for retarded people. Like a quote from this video is "If you're not in the right turning lane, don't turn right" This makes as much sense as asking someone "What time is the 3PM Parade".
If he mentions that he is from Louisiana one more time, I'm gonna look this guy up, go to a stand up show, and throw a box of popcorn as soon as he hits the stage. His southern drawwwwwwl and his tangents into comedy routines are 50% of this video, and I paid 40 BUCKS for this BS.
Section 2! Speeding and why you shouldn't. Remember the phrase "Speed kills"? No, because it's not a phrase anyone would remember or use ever. Yet this video seems to think it's a phrase as popular as "Cool story, bro". Ok, he just started a story "This guy has one of these huge Harley Davidson motorcycle, you ever heard of these things?" YES, EVERYONE HAS HEARD OF THOSE THINGS. This guy is a HACK.
This video was made at least before Cell Phones became common place, because the rules about those are still "upcoming" according to it. The speeding section brings us to our second clip, which acomplishes two things. One, it insults my intelligence. and Two, it mystifies me as to what I am supposed to be imagining. Just watch...
I want to punch this guy in the face more now, and I'm nowhere NEAR done. At least my friendly neighborhood Suspenders man decided to run into a wall for me. I enjoyed this in a sick way. Here's the clip.
Strangely, this leads to him stating ten minutes later that he KNOWS he's annoying and he's sure the best part of the video so far is him hurting himself. If you know he's annoying, and I know he's annoying, WHY IS HE IN THE VIDEO? WHY?
And the clips just keep on coming! I had to include some of this guy's unbelievably bad stand up comedy. Also, this includes one of those amazing head turn transitions that are always in these instructional videos. Enjoy...
Of course, this guy says he NEVER speeds. EVER. Never had to before. Sure man. SURE. You and your Uncle BluJoe must be the best drivers EVER.
This is a specific video for Florida right? Well the guy just told me to NEVER drive in the first HOUR before or after rainfall. Anyone who lives in Florida knows that Rainfall typically lasts 10-15 min and if it's a rainy day it'll be on and off 10 times in a three hour period. So I guess NO ONE SHOULD EVER DRIVE AGAIN.
Fun fact, apparently Drivers always have to give the right of way to people with white canes according to this vid. Pimps everywhere rejoice, you can cross whenever you feel like it!
I'm almost halfway done with this pain and suffering, and two notes here. One, after each section, they say you must pause the video and access the "network". Not sure what that means, I'm already on Verizon. Two, apparently you can get MOST of the verification questions wrong, but as long as a couple are right they don't care. Not enough uncaring to cheat through it, but just enough to annoy you. Wonderful.
Another protip from this video. If you're being tailgated, slow down. Really. Doesn't that only accomplish you getting rear ended? I guess not, that's just being a defensive driver! Another thing you shouldn't do as a defensive driver? Let people go by waving them in. That's illegal apparently, everybody should be jerks on the road all the time. Did you know you're supposed to carry "safety triangles" with you just in case there is a crash? Yup, even though I've never seen this EVER, you're supposed to do it. I'm so glad this video is so up to date and relevant to today's drivers.
Ugh, everything about driving is described in this video. Hydroplaning, When to use high beams, What a turning lane is, how close to stay to a vehicle, EVERYTHING. I thought this was supposed to be a SAFETY course, I already have my licence. It's mind-numbing.
Apparently, puddles on the road could hide 20 foot deep SINKHOLES that will engulf your car and send you to the world of the mole people. Yes, because heavy rain will erode through concrete, cement, and then the earth in about an hour and then shift into an abandoned escape tunnel from the cold war. And then there will be enough rain to cover the ENTIRE hole just before your car hits it. This makes sense. I feel bad for anyone who watches these and takes them seriously. There's enough crap in people lives for them to worry about without worrying about tunnels hidden by puddles of water and maniacs swerving into your lane while shooting them with an AK47. I bet Fox News reporters have seen this video.
Now we go into a section about VEHICLE MAINTENANCE. They're trying to tie it into crashes, but this is just filling time now. I know cars have to have headlights and seatbelts, you can't buy a car WITHOUT these things. You should check your tires DAILY according to this video. DAILY. I guess I'm gonna have to take an extra 20 minutes every morning to make sure my tires are inflated well. Also, I'll have to go take a course on car repair just to start driving again.
Suspenders has topped himself again. When talking about the back dashboard, he goes to some places that idiots dare not tread. Also take notice of the diverse group of actors hired to laugh at this man. They deserve an award. Here's the clip
I don't know what a BOBBIN HEAD DOG is, but he sure seems excited about it.
Now here's the required drinking and driving messages. I wish I could sign up to be straight edge somewhere. Then I could just skip stuff like this cause I'm never going to drink. I doubt there will be anything interesting here. We're even getting into how ANY drugs affect you, going as deep as MODEL GLUE. It's been said many times before, but all this hammering does is make me WANT to make drugs, and i'm straight edge. 15 minutes of this and we're still talking about drugs. I taught school children about how drugs were bad, I should be excused from this idiocy.
At this point, my brain is FRIED. I don't know what to say about this, other then the fact that this isn't the ONLY musical segment of the video. I'll just give you a taste of the TORTURE that I've been watching the last 5 or so hours.
Anyway, I'm off to breeze through the final exam because this was a waste of my time. My years of watching Z grade cinema had not prepared me for the horror that is driving school with Suspenders.
-Pudge
PS. If you ever find yourself on an adventure with Suspenders, and want to keep your sanity intact, the verification letters are as follows-BDABCEBACCEBDBCDEBABEEEACCBBCDCBDDEABCCEABCEBBCDAB. I can only verify they work in the state of Florida, bud I'd try it everywhere else too, since it's the same video every time. Enjoy.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Holy Shirt! Chapter 1: Pudge's Closet Revealed
Hey,
I love T Shirts. It's almost unhealthy how much I love them. I wear them about 95% of the time. My teenage years were that of the novelty tee, and now even though the luster of everything on a t shirt is beginning to die down, I'm still hooked for life on amassing as many of them as possible. My T Shirt collection is so large, that I have enough to last me until I go home from college every few weekends, never having to touch the washer/dryer in Tampa. To tell you the truth, I'd probably ruin them if I tried, that's just not my thing.
So why should you care about my love of T Shirts? I don't really know. Using the logic of "It's my blog and I'll post what I want to", tonight I'm going to start the massive undertaking of documenting my T Shirt collection for the entire internet to see. What will follow on a semi weekly basis is 10 or so of my T Shirts pictured and described, including thoughts about when I got them and why or why not they are special to me, and links to purchase the shirts when they are still available. Without further ado, let's begin.
Shirt 1: Dead Space
Purchased at: Hot Topic
Thoughts: I figured the best place to start would be the shirt I wore today, a traditional Box Art t shirt from Dead Space. I got this during one of my many raids of the Hot Topic clearance section, which is always a good place to look for these type of shirts. They seem to have shirts for everything, even the stuff that might not be so popular (Dwight from the Office's movie The Rocker or something had shirts there if I remember correctly) I have no real affinity for the game, never beat it, but it's a good shirt to wear to gaming events and such.
Shirt 2: Bret Hart 2010
Purchased at: WWEShop
Thoughts: This is my newest shirt, it went on sale for ten bucks and I had to snatch it up. I'm a wrestling fan (check the sidebar for my all wrestling Twitter) so I have a lot of shirts from both of the current federations. This shirt is an evolution of the old Bret Hart shirt design, although I probably l.like the old one better, because there was a heart in the design. Instead, on this shirt, there are hearts in the skulls eye, and it's a lot harder for the average joe to pick up on what the shirt is supposed to be unless they happen to also read my back. It's a fun design, but I have a lot better shirts to wear at any wrestling events I attend.
Shirt 3: AC/DC For Those About to Rock
Purchased at: Wal-Mart
Thoughts: I remember getting this shirt the beginning of last semester. Like most of my shirts, it was on sale. I have a fondness for AC/DC. All of their songs sound the same, but there are also so many of them that if you get the feeling to listen to one of them, you always have a lot to choose from. Not much else to say here.
Shirt 4: Munchies 420 Cafe
Purchased at: Munchies 420 Cafe (Shirt not available on website)
Thoughts: This is a keeper. I watch Man vs Food from time to time, and one of the episodes detailed Sarasota, which is not too far from my home town of Punta Gorda. From the time I saw the episode a few years ago, I vowed to head to this restaurant and sample their wares. They are known for ridiculously gigantic subs stuffed with everything from Mac N Cheese to Chicken Fingers to Scrambled Eggs. LunaTik and I finally headed out there this summer and it was great stuff. Of course, mom knowing my obsession, she had to buy me the T Shirt, and it's become one of my go to favorites of recent times.
Shirt 5: Left 4 Dead 2 Dark Carnival
Purchased at: Hot Topic (Discontinued)
Thoughts: This shirt is the same story as the Dead Space shirt, although this shirt is long gone from the website. However, unlike Dead Space, I'm a huge fan of the Left 4 Dead games, and this happens to be one of the best campaigns from either installment, so it's a great one to have.
Shirt 6: Edge Rated R Superstar
Purchased at: WWEShop
Thoughts: Another wrestling shirt, this one I got my first year of college in a combo pack with the new at the time Edge DVD. Edge was one of my early favorites in the WWE, and this shirt is a vintage WWE design that I had to have in my collection, and it's much better then any other shirt he's had IMO.
Shirt 7: ECW Experience the Difference
Thoughts: Another crown jewel in my collection, this is one of the earliest shirts made by the best company in wrestling history, ECW. It dates all the way back to 1995. This is one of shirts I bought in an auction from none other then Harry Slash, the local Philadelphia musician who did most of the original music for the company for the length of it's independent run. I rarely even wear this shirt (Mostly because it's probably too small), but I'm proud to own a part of ECW history.
Shirt 8: This is my Shirt
Received as a gift
Thoughts: This is a pretty generic gaming shirt that the mother and the sister found while shopping one day. It's pretty low on my list of shirts, but it's a fine day and done shirt for days when all I'm doing is going to class.
Shirt 9: You've Been Rickroll'd
Thoughts: I'm really glad I picked this shirt up when I did, because this is one of the fastest disappearing shirts I've ever seen on jinx.com . J!NX is a T Shirt website I frequent from time to time, although lately their shirts have been lackluster compared to the glory days of a few years ago. They also have a bad tendency to discontinue awesome shirts, like this one which must have been on the site for under 3 months. I've got a bunch more coming from J!NX, almost all of them gotten just before they were taken off the site.
Shirt 10: Sting
Purchased at: ShopTNA (Discontinued)
Thoughts: This is a shirt from the other, less known, current wrestling promotion. It's an older Sting shirt that I got in a great deal that they run on their website. 5 shirts in a box for 20 bucks. They run it from time to time, and their shipping costs are pretty bad, but its always fun to open that box at the end of the process. It's a pretty cool design, although it's in a weird place where sometimes it looks like I'm wearing just a plain black shirt, which I never would, so it bothers me sometimes.
Shirt 11: Normal People Scare Me
Received as a gift
Thoughts: This is one of those dime a dozen department store novelty tees, and yet I really like this one. It's a great shirt to wear to a mall or crowded area where there are those people who hand out flyers and such. This shirt makes you not get so many flyers, which is better for both involved honestly. You could probably find this shirt in any Wal-Mart or Target if you're lucky.
That's it for this time, hope you enjoyed and want to come back for more when I dig out another fistful of shirts and bring them onto the web.
-Pudge
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