Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Scott Pilgrim vs Pudge: A Review

Hey,

When I was a SDCC last month, I missed the opportunity to get a preview of Scott Pilgrim. I was too busy grabbing swag on the show floor, and by the time I figured it out, all the movie showings were done. At the time I was disappointed, and now that I've seen the film I can't help but wonder what my reaction would have been had I seen it with the Klingons and Slave Leias. Scott Pilgrim is a strange mix between nerdy comedy, homage to video games, and a goofy action movie that fires on all cylinders from the 8-Bit Universal Logo to the last scene of the camera panning into the door to the subspace highway. It has terrific performances from Aubrey Plaza (the might as well be a goth chick from Parks and Recreation), Chris Evens, and especially Mary Elizabeth Winstead as the rainbow haired Ramona Flowers. Every five minutes there is another reference to video games that only something with my sensibilities would get. And yet, as the movie progressed from evil ex to evil ex, I moved uncomfortably in my chair waiting to be sucked in and enjoy it like so many of my friends on Twitter had. And it never happened.

One reason I found was that the movie was too episodic. It makes sense considering that there are seven boss fights that have to be gone through in the film, and despite their best efforts all of these events don't mesh together into a cohesive two hour experience. It seemed like the fight scenes always ended anticlimactically, with an explosion of coins (another game reference) and then the story continues and we never see these characters again. The movie would have done well to stray away from the graphic novel friendly concept of 7 separate definitive fights and instead have the 7 evil exes all fight together in the club scene at the end of the movie, with the characters being introduced and getting the better of Pilgrim throughout the film. This allows his triumph at the end of the film to be that much more powerful. Investing time to set up all these villains only for them to be gotten out of the way so quickly is just counterproductive. But of course, if they did that they wouldn't be having "boss fights" and they'd lose another game reference. 

While we're on the subject, one of the big things everyone likes out of this film was the "clever" use of 8 bit and old game sound effects in the movie. At the beginning of the movie they were cute, I squeed at the kitchen table scene with Zelda sound effects going off at appropriate times. By the halfway part of the movie I was just sick of it, and when I got home I figured out what it reminded me of. All the game references and sound effects reminded me of the ENTER GENRE HERE Movie franchise. Only instead of "Hey everybody it's Captain Jack from Pirates" as the joke, it's "Hey everybody it's sound effects from Sonic the Hedgehog". It's a trick to get gamers and people who love the old games to buy into the movie while still throwing a million characters at you and having Michael Cera as the guy you're supposed to relate to, a man whose career is getting to Rob Schneider levels of annoyance. Make no mistake, I'm as big a fan of video games in all their forms, but I also know when I'm being marketed to.

Really though, who wanted a Scott Pilgrim movie in the first place? I admit I'm not a HUGE comic book guy, especially indies, but was there a real outcry to see this series become a big budget film? I mean, the final chapter of the graphic novel came out last month. Are we really that starved for ideas? We probably are, but the point remains. It feels like the only persons that initially wanted this movie to be made were marketing executives trying to get some of their money back from hardcore gamers. It's a stupid reason for me to be bothered, as all Hollywood movies are made for reasons like this, but in this case it just seems so obvious as to take me further away from being sucked into the film.

I could go on about what I did like about the movie, how the gay roommate got a bunch of funny things to do, how most of the fight scenes were well choreographed, how much I enjoy looking at girls with blue colored hair, but I don't really have to get into it. There are a thousand reviews telling you to go see this movie, and by now you probably have anyway. I just can't recommend it. In this day and age where ticket prices are in the double digits, it's not worth the few funny bits and good character parts. I certainly didn't hate the film, but I can't bring myself to like it nearly as much as the rest of the internet.

 

Now I know why it was in 5th

-Pudge

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Sunday, August 15, 2010

Blue Castle Crashers Guy GET

Hey,

I finally unpacked this little guy from Comic-Con storage, and he is so cool I had to take some pics and put them up. He is now officialy the guardian of my Swag. Long may he reign.

I think I'm finally getting the hang of this blogging thing.
-Pudge

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Friday, August 13, 2010

The Expendables Review

expendables_poster1.jpg

Hey,

Last night at Midnight, a large group of friends and I embarked on a quest. That quest was to be among the first in the country to experience Sylvester Stallone's newest film, The Expendables. And what a film it was. After a long night of driving to and from the theater and then trying to sleep, I awoke this noon expecting to see a bunch of opinions pop up in my Google Reader and Twitter Feeds about the film. I got a few, but nothing of substance. What I got instead was a crapload of opinions, tweets, and unneeded hype for Scott Pilgrim, a film that I want to see, but not this weekend. This is Stallone's weekend. (An interesting fact about Scott Pilgrim, I have several friends who don't live on the internet who have NEVER heard of the film and have no idea what it's about. I was dumbfounded and it gives me hope that it will be the #2 movie this weekend.). Due to the apparent lack of passion for this future action classic, I have decided to write a review on my blog. Let's begin.

The story in any good action movie of this type is a plot device to get your hero or heroes in front of several dozen men that are in need of dispatching. In this film, Sly Stallone and his crew of mercenaries are hired by Bruce Willis to take out a dictator, and that's all the motivation Sly needs for the entire film. There is also a subplot involving Jason Statham, his girlfriend, and a group of assholes that only exists for the payoff scene, which is definitely worth the wait. The movie's story is very stereotypical, but it serves the plot well, and if you were going into this movie expecting a well written story, you need to make an appointment with your local physician.

Just in case anyone was wondering, the action is spectacular. This is an Hard R film in the vein of Commando, Rambo: First Blood, and Die Hard. Body parts fly apart, there are several heads blown clean off, and everything you can do in an action movie in 2010 is done and then some. I'm a veteran of these films and even I found myself pleasantly surprised at a few moments. If all the action scenes were strung together without anything else, it would be a short film worthy of praise. I would venture to say that if you have ever enjoyed an action film in your life, you will enjoy the hell out of this movie.

The characters in this movie are not characters. There is a reason when you talk about 80s action movies, you don't know the names of the characters. Everyone in this movie is playing themselves, and I wouldn't have it other way. Knowing this, Stallone gave the characters ridiculous names like Lee Christmas and Yin Yang, which made me chuckle in the end credits. Everyone has at least one chance to shine in the film, except perhaps Steve Austin, who I felt was underused as the basic muscle for the bad guy. Was it so much to ask for Steve Austin to pull out a Stunner? Or perhaps emerge out of a shattered window? I guess it's just the wrestling fan in me, but I wanted to see more out of Stone Cold. What was not disappointing was the much anticipated on screen meeting between Stallone, Willis, and Arnold. Let me just say that this exchange was perfect in every way it could be. Those expecting Arnold to be in the movie for a significant amount of time will be disappointed, but considering he's not a working actor right now, it's all that was needed for the film.

Now that we're in the 5th paragraph, anyone still reading is obviously the target audience for the movie. If you are reading this the weekend of posting, go see this movie. In theaters. Today. I'm sure you follow me when I say that this is the kind of movie we need more of right now. When would be action stars like The Rock are forced to do kiddie films because those will sell better then Hard R action flicks, there is a problem. This movie being successful could bring a new wave of action classics. Or Scott Pilgrim could win and the suits in Hollywood will shrug it off and say "Wow, movies based on Comics are still popular" I like my superhero movies as much as the next guy, but there is definitely something to be said for this kind of ridiculous explosion fest. Vote with your dollars and go see Expendables in theaters. Tell Hollywood that this kind of movie is what we want coming into theaters, and tell Stallone that we want the sequel he wants to make. If you're reading this after opening weekend, we haven't lost the battle yet, because Machette, staring Danny Trejo and Steven Seagal is coming out in September and promises to make a great one two punch with this film. Go see that at Midnight as well, you know you want to.

I can't put into words the feelings of joy and ecstasy my compatriots and I felt in the theater last night at 1 in the morning. Let this film be a glorious rebirth of a simpler time in movies. And don't listen to any critics, listen to a man who appreciates the fine art of the action film, this movie is an A+ gem that you will remember for years to come. Go enjoy the feast that Stallone has brought to us, and then pray for seconds.

-Pudge

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Friday, August 06, 2010

A funny thing happened last night...

For those who don't know, I'm a big time wrestling fan. So, while tweeting the TNA broadcast like I normally do, I happen to make the comment above, and Taz, the announcer for the show and former ECW champion, responded and agreed. This is why I love the internet.

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