Paradise? I don't think so, Or The death of the best driving franchise as we know it

Hey,

I have been awoken from my legendary lurker status to comment on a little XBL demo I sampled just 24 hours ago. I am also very angry at things lately, like Spider Man: One More Day/Brand New Day completely raping the Spider-Man comics of anything enjoyable and then shoving 3 issues a month down our throats on top of it. I'm not going to get into that right now though, as my opinion is lost among a sea of fanboys agreeing with me, and really, you don't need another reason to hate that storyline. What I'm going to post about today is something in a similar vein to Spidey's current disaster, but the opinion has swayed in a different direction, generally either for the change, or simply not caring. I talk of course (and if you guessed from the title, +1 cookie for you) of Burnout Paradise, the new "arcade" racer from EA and Criterion.

For the uneducated, the Burnout series started out rather uneventfully on the PS2 as an above average racer with awesome crashes, but little else to get people off Need For Speed/Twisted Metal/(insert your fave arcade racer here!) and take notice. Burnout 2 improved on the racing formula found in the first game, and added on an immensely fun mode called "Crash Mode" The goal of this mode was to slam into traffic in such a way as to cause the most damage. There were the straightforward slams into intersections, and the more strategic multilayer mountain roads where the high scores could only be achieved by pushing a bus down to the high way below as you crashed. And did I mention that near the end of a successful crash, as the few remaining cars try to sneak by, you can blow up your car with a "Crashbreaker" for one last chance at points. Crash Mode quickly became a fan favorite and a staple of the series.

Burnout 3: Takedown was the first multiplatform Burnout title (EA bought Criterion out after 2 and shoved it on the other consoles) and as such, a jumping on point for most current Burnout fans. (Including yours truly) It is hailed as the best of the series then and now and with good reason. The game was the perfect pick-up-and-play game, with the World Tour throwing quick and addictive events at you at a breakneck pace. Added in was Road Rage, a mode where you have to make the most opponents crash before they total your car. Crash Mode had Power-Ups like 2x score multipliers and extra Crashbreakers placed on the track in such a fashion as to make combos where whole interstates were filled with carnage. The only bad thing about the game was an annoying DJ announcer that you could thankfully mute. It was truly a legendary title, and I could go on forever about it given the time.

Burnout Revenge was the fourth edition of the series. It was almost a straight sequel to Burnout 3, with only a few differences. The crash mode was made less player friendly than in Burnout 3 (I remember hearing talk about a golf meter for boost in the PS2 and Xbox versions, but I played the 360 edition of the game, where they fixed that little flaw) Traffic Checking was added, allowing you to launch pedestrian vehicles by rear ending them, basically using them as weapons to take out opponents. The game still retained the arcade-style World Tour mode with pick-up-and-play events that you could burn through (stop it Pudge...) whenever you felt like it.
It was a workable sequel, and enjoyable to play.

I was expecting a lot when I picked up my controller for the Paradise demo. I had heard much about it, but I was saving my judgments for the game itself. It died in my hands. I could feel the disappointment bursting from me as I discovered each new feature.

• The entire game is now a sandbox game like GTA and Saint's Row. Instead of a series of events like the World Tour mode, we get events triggered through hitting a button when you pass through an intersection. All well and good, until you fail the event, and realize that you have to backtrack to the same intersection to try again. Criterion said that this was to take out load times. I'd rather spend 30 seconds watching a still image than spend 5 minutes getting back to the start of the race.
  
• Crash Mode has been replaced with "Showtime Mode" in where whenever you get into a wreck with other cars involved, you can activate Showtime Mode and try to make the most damage possible as you bounce from car to car. While this might be fun, it takes out all the fun and strategy of knowing Crash levels and playing your friends online, as every crash is different.
• Speaking of Online, that's screwed up too, as Online is just getting into a city with more than one player and driving around. That's it. You can play events with others, but without any kind of structure, no one will want to race. Everyone will just want to ram each other until their bored. Considering that Takedown and Revenge had good online communities where you could always find a game, it's a shame that the online mode is so short cited in this edition.
• Several of the cool features introduced in previous Burnout games (off the top of my head, Traffic Check, Aftertouch [which was controlling your car in bullet time after a wreck to get opponents, but since everything is real time you can't do that anymore], and true Burnouts [using all your boost in one shot]) are nowhere to be found in this sequel.
• Oh, and the DJ's back, this time without a mute button...
  

All this takes away from Burnouts roots as a pure arcade game that wouldn't look out of place next to Smashing Drive and Crazy Taxi. Instead, it's some "Evolved Burnout" some Next Gen Wonder. Well here's one fan that will stick to Takedown and Revenge until you guys decide to get your act together and release a proper Burnout game. I'm not gonna be force fed garbage just because it has a recognizable name on it. That's why I don't own Halo 2 anymore.

May DJ Atommika be shot
-Pudge

The Death of a Dream, or DisneyQuest will be closed in 2 years

Hey,

Today is a bad day. Today, as I was surfing www.jimhillmedia.com, and I saw this article. Game Over:WDW's DisneyQuest to close in early 2008. I can't get over it.

For those out of the loop, DisneyQuest at WDW is one of Disney's many 90s experiments that was, to put it lightly, unsuccessful. It was supposed to be a chain of indoor, 5-story, virtual Theme Parks. Rides include CyberSpace Mountain, where you build your own coaster, and then ride it, and Pirates of the Carribean, where you are on a ship and you shoot physical cannons at 3-D Pirates Ships. This awesomeness was supplemented by an entire room filled with not only the latest of Arcade games, but the classics like Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, and Galaga. Only 2 were built, and the Chicago location closed long ago. But the WDW location has always been crowded enough to sustain itself. Or at least, I thought it was.

I first went there in it's second year of operation, I think I was 8. I was fascinated by the 3-D, but I couldn't appreciate what it really was. Last summer (as mentioned in my Killtacular Tour), I went back there, and I was fascinated by the stuff I didn't see the first time. I always thought this massive arcade would last until I was a little older, but that dream was shattered today. Why wasn't I born in the 80s? Oh well...

I'm going to try to make several trips up to Disney Quest before it is closed to build yet another ESPN Zone. (sigh)...

Damn Franchises

-Yet another reason why the world sucks ass
Pudge

Now Entering Intercourse, or Pudge's Vacation Killtacular Tour Completed

Hey,

I'm finally back from Vacation, and now that I gained a few levels on H2 (21 in Slayer and yes I know I suck), watched all the good new stuff on my TiVo (the season finale of Robot Chicken was a stinker), and shipped off my mom to the hospital (some kinda stomach thing, I'm not worried she's always sick like this), I have time to right about my Vacation. HERE WE GO!

Our first stop was Nashville, which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Although that might have to do with the fact that we didn't actually see any Nashville sights. I'm not sad though. There was a HUGE mall connected to our hotel and we were there 75% of the time. The day we weren't there, we were at a zoo. Zoo was okay, but the mall was awesome. I saw Batman Begins as promised, only better. I saw it on IMAX. AWESOME EXPERIENCE. I was so amazing that my mom got nightmares from the Scarecrow. She woke up in the middle of the night and screamed SCARECROW into my dad's face. Anyway, the Imax Experience is beyond words, you just have to see it to believe it. Otherwise here are some other less notable things.

• Paying way too much for a Tendercrisp Chicken Sandwich at the BK at the mall. It was like three dollars more and I STILL had to take it back because it wasn't plain. (I almost always eat chicken sandwiches plain. Unless of course there is Spicy Buffalo sauce. One of my many quirks)
• I scored both Twisted Metal 3 (PS1) and the Clone Wars/Tetris Worlds disc that came with Xboxs a long time ago for less than $10!
• I also got an Xbox Memory Unit for $25 bucks. Total Ripoff. I can't even save all my H2 Custom Gametypes on it. (I have a lot)
• Finally, you remember that my dad was on a business conference which is why we were in Nashville. He promised that we could go to the Rainforest Cafe on the last day at Nashville. We didn't get to go because he told all his teacher friends that he was going to go to a concert that was the same night. His principal tells him that she will be going to the Cafe that night. Long story short, we didn't go and he got Rainforest Cafe pamphlets in the steering wheel the rest of the trip.

We then made a quick stop in Asheville, Bill was still annoying (ex. When he was driving us to a restaurant, he stopped at a grocery store just to point out that this is where my Aunt Paula does all her shopping). Nothing really interesting beyond that.

Our second stop on the Killtacular Tour is Philadelphia. We stayed in a really fancy Hilton Hotel with free Wi-Fi for my laptop. We had a whole lot of fun there, took a couple of walking tours (including a nice night tour where they project images on buildings and re-enact key events of the [American, Not Nintendo] Revolution. Awesome High-Tech Nerd stuff) I also tried a Philly CheeseSteak (tastes really good with mozzarella and Maranara) Highlights include-

• Watching a concert by the Philly Pops and seeing independence Hall lit up for the first time in, like 5 years. You had to be there, but we were all singing and dancing on the lawn by the time it was done.
• Doing all the requisite Tourist stuff like seeing the Liberty Bell. I was very impressed at just how state of the art all the museum stuff was. I heard later that it was installed only a year ago but still, it was very cool.
• Speaking of state of the art, if you're ever in Phillie, check out the National Constitution Center. I guess it was installed with all the other exhibits a year ago but it was awesome. Not the kind of museum that anyone would get bored at. It had interactive exhibits all about the Constitution and at the end you could sign the Constitution digitally surrounded by life-size statues off all the original signers.
• Meeting Ben Franklin. Really. Someone that lives in Phillie is so good at being a Franklin look alike, that it's his job. He provided the voice of Ben on the night tour mentioned earlier and I even shook his hand as he strolled down the street dressed in the part and carrying a plush Bald Eagle. (Guess he changed his mind about the Turkey thing)

I should also note that Live 8 was in town the day I got there. Lot of crowds for that, so we didn't really see downtown. Linkin Park was across a bridge, and I couldn't go. That was a little bit of a bummer.

Edit just for the Dark Elf-It's been way too long, so I'm gonna post from memory the other things I wanted to say in this post.

We went to Hershey PA, or Chocolate Town USA as they call it around the nation. We did all the usual touristy stuff (toured the factory, made a tin of kisses that we didn't buy cause it was a rip-off). But the best part was going to Hershey Park. I really didn't want to go to Hershey Park as it seemed like a Six-Flags kinda place, and I don't really like roller coasters. Well, it sorta is that and for most of the day I was bored. But then I got to the back of the park, which is dedicated to Water rides. They are some the best water rides in the country. I spent 3 hours in that section getting soaking wet, and I had a better time than I had ever had at a water dedicated park. The highlight was the Roller-Soaker, a small roller coaster with people squirting water at you from the ground out of giant cannons. To retaliate, you have a huge bucket of water attached to your car that you can dump at any time. A lot of people used theirs for the helpless people waiting on line, so this is a water ride experience the whole time through. If you ever get a chance, definitely check this place out.

We also went to Amish Country and did more tourist stuff like tour an old Amish town and a house. But there was even something good in Amish Country. A place called Intercourse PA. Yep, a town named after sexual relations. It was an Amish town through and through, but all the signs were funny. I have pictures at http://www.gamezionfl.com/gamezionflforum/viewtopic.php?t=193 for anyone interested. As a side note I got some awesome cheap comics at that pretzel factory, which is probably why it's my favorite.

The final stop on my tour is the requisite Orlando visit, and this year we went to MGM Studios and Disney Quest. We were gonna go to Blizzard Beach, but it was raining again. It's almost like a joke in our family, cause we've had rain check tickets that don't expire for this place since I was 6. My parents keep saying that they will be a family heirloom, but I expect we'll use them eventually. MGM was the usual stuff, but Disney Quest had been much improved since last I encountered it. Last time I went, there were a lot of VR rides, but it was over quick and you got bored easily. Disney realized it, tore out the worst ride, and filled the space with 100 arcade machines on Free Play. Not crappy ones either. Marvel vs Capcom 2, Tekken 5, Soul Calibur 2, Crazy Taxi, a wall of Pinball Machines, a room full of retro games like Galaga and Tron, the list goes on. I'm a big theme park buff, and now that I know what kinda place Disney Quest is, I'll go there every chance I get, and I recommend it to any gamers looking to relive the arcade experience.

That's it for the Killtacular Tour, and I hoped you like it Darwin.

-May I write about next year's summer before December 06

Pudge