And you thought the Boomerang was bad, or Nintendo's Revolution Revealed

Hey

Nintendo has done it again. They've screwed themselves. Royally. What you are looking at is the new controller for the Nintendo Revolution. The "Revolution" is a TV remote. A friggin' TV REMOTE. Ok, to be fair, it's a very special TV remote. One that can be used as a kind of mouse. It can move up and down, left and right, and back and forth. But still, it's a TV Remote.

Now, all sorts of questions come to mind. One of the first for me is how the hell will this play Mario Kart 64 and Legend of Zelda, since one of the best features for the Revolution was supposed to be backwards compatibility? Answer? Meet the Wavebird 2.0.

Now, this is only a mockup of what will be most likely the most used accessory for the wand (as I like to call it) This is a controller shell for the wand that will let you play Gamecube, N64, SNES, and even Revolution games in a more standard way. Notice I didn't mention NES, because the remote can just be turned sideways and work just like an NES controller.

After you get over that, your next question is, how will this affect Nintendo's new games for the next-gen. How will Mario 128 and SSBM Online work when there are only 4 buttons on the controller (A, X, Y [a and b in the mock up] and a hidden B button just like Z on the N64 controller) and a D-Pad. Especially when you can only press X and Y by holding the controller a certain way. Well, this is where it gets a little scary. SSBM is particular has been known for it's precise controls, but with all aiming controlled by waving a wand in the air, you can kiss your dreams of the perfect Smash Bros. game online goodbye.

There are good things for this controller though. If nothing else, I can finally play Metroid Prime instead of struggling with the archaic structure of the Gamecube version. Speaking of FPS games-

This device is the Revolution Joystick add-on. It has two trigger buttons and will make FPS a good play on Nintendo's console. But, Nintendo doesn't make FPS games. They've made two in their entire existence. Either Geist is getting a sequel, or Metroid is the only game that will benefit from this cool design. The Joystick is going to be bundled with the system and will probably work with every game that doesn't have another accessory instead.

Which brings me to the next good thing about it, we will see some unique add-ons for this controller. The big N has already said that DK Bongos and a new Zapper light-gun is in the works, with more to come. We will probably see a microphone, steering wheel, or maybe even a revival of the Power Glove! Seriously though, that is the one thing that gets me excited about the wand.

Now that I've thought about it, I don't really think it's a bad idea. Just not as a main controller. Why couldn't it be an accessory to a more standard controller. I know it will work great with FPS games, RTS games, some sports games like baseball. But what about a new Mario game? I can say right now that it will definitely be awkward controlling the Italian plumber with just a wand and a joystick.

I'm afraid that Nintendo will go too far and design games for the wand, and not games that use the wand. Let me explain. I'm sure you've played WarioWare: Touched for DS? That game is designed just for the touch screen, every mini-game uses the stylus. When I first played it, I was kinda disappointed that they didn't have at least one category of games that were controlled like the GBA original. Now, think of a game like Four Swords Adventures. It used the GBA as a feature of a larger experience, instead of running with the gimmick. And that's what I don't want to happen, for this new controller to become a gimmick. If it does, then I don't think that Nintendo will last past the current generation.

May I be proven wrong and have to eat my words

-Pudge

Saturday Morning Cartoons and why they're going to die

Hey,

I know that most people don't care about stuff like this, but I've always been a huge fan of Saturday Morning Cartoons. After a week of school, kids wake up early and are bored. Before they get older and can leave the house, they need something like Saturday Morning TV to entertain them. It works like primetime TV. Instead of "Did you see what happened on the OC last night?" the third graders say stuff like "Did you see who Yugi defeated on Saturday?" Sadly, due to several factors spiraling out of control at the same time, Saturday Morning may be no more, and sooner than you think.

1.The FCC's ridiculous regulations on both content that must be edited, and so called E/I show requirements. On Saturday Morning cartoons, no one can die, no one can be seriously injured, no one can say crap or heck, every kind of firearm must have the sound effect of a laser gun.

2.Anime. Sadly, instead of coming up with original ideas, Saturday is taking the best Anime aimed at teenage boys (Shaman King, One Piece, Pokemon, etc...) and hacking it up in a dub that is rarely even close to the original and tries to aim it at everybody from 5 year old girls to 14 year old boys. You have already heard my gripes with 4Kids, the company that makes most of these dubs. You can find one of these dubs in every half hour of Saturday morning, and FOX's morning (4KidsTV) is 95% of it (the only exception being TMNT)

3.24-Hr. Networks. Kids can be entertained every minute of the day by Nick, CN, or Disney, so it's that much harder for Sat. Morning to compete. Instead of stepping up to the challenge and making their shows truly special, they badly mimic the popular cable cartoons and sometimes even run reruns of them (Teen Titans, PPG)

4.Mergers. with mergers happening left and right, the owners of networks like CBS, NBC and ABC came into possession of kid centric cable outlets. So, for their Sat. Morning programming, they just show lite versions of the cable network's shows. (if you were wondering-CBS=Nick, NBC=Discovery Kids, ABC=Disney)

You might be thinking, who cares? The kids can watch everything now. They get their own channels. That's enough. NO, it's not enough. Saturday morning brought many wonderful cartoons to the world. How good would the Spider-Man movie have been without Spider-Man, the Series on Fox? Where else could small franchises like Sam & Max or The Tick or Ghostbusters have gone with a cartoon show? Would there be a Game Boy without the success of Pokemon (which was a GOOD dub for the first season) on Kids WB? The answers are that it would be a very different place if Sat AM cartoons weren't there, and, god damn it, I wanna see the next TMNT or Pokemon explode on Saturday morning. Not get decent ratings on CN.

-May you always enjoy the weekend as I do
Pudge